Women, Marriage, and Money!
because love should never mean losing control of your wallet.
Using the money you earn, the way you want sounds simple. Yet for many women, especially married women, it’s still a luxury.
Marriage is often seen as a romantic partnership where love, responsibilities, and resources are shared equally (well, mostly!). But in reality, many women lose a significant degree of financial freedom once they marry. They may have little idea of their family’s financial status because they stop tracking where the money goes, stop asking questions, or have little say in decisions about it.
This imbalance has long-term consequences. It affects a woman’s economic security and personal autonomy, often leaving her without the ability to make independent choices, or in harder cases, to leave an unhappy marriage.
When love meets money
Traditional gender roles still shape how couples manage money. Men are often seen as the breadwinners while women manage the household and childcare. Over time, this can create a quiet but powerful dependence — one that makes women more vulnerable in cases of abuse, divorce, or the death of a spouse. And, when the woman leaves the work to take care of children and household (which happens in most cases), that dependency amplifies.
Even when couples merge finances through joint accounts and shared investments, things can quietly become uneven. If one partner holds most of the control, the other can lose access and influence, eroding financial equality in subtle ways.
Reclaiming control
Build financial literacy: Learn the basics of budgeting, investing, and debt management. The more you know, the more confident and independent you’ll be. Financial knowledge isn’t just power. It’s protection.
If you’re dating:
Talk about money early. Discuss priorities, spending habits, financial goals, debts, and expectations. It’s not “unromantic”. It’s responsible. Money conversations before commitment save a lot of heartache later.
If you’re married:
Keep the money talk going. You are a team now.
Budget together. Decide what “ours,” “yours,” and “mine” mean in practice.
Keep a personal account. Always maintain an individual bank account for your own financial independence. This is non-negotiable.
Invest in yourself. Keep learning, growing, and earning. Financial confidence feeds personal confidence.
Create your own income stream. From remote work to side hustles, having your own earnings is both empowering and practical, especially if life throws a curve ball.
Be part of financial decisions. Don’t hand over all the power. Ask questions. Participate. Know where every major decision stands. Your financial knowledge will help you play an active part in those decisions.
Consider a prenuptial agreement. It’s not about mistrust. It’s about mutual clarity and protection.
Seek professional guidance. A good financial planner can help you make informed, independent choices.
Why it matters?
Financial equality isn’t about who earns more. It’s about shared respect, transparency, and equal access.
Every woman should know her family’s financial picture, have money in her own name, and be able to make choices without fear or permission.
When women understand and own their financial lives, marriages become stronger, and women stay freer in every sense of the word.
Because the goal isn’t dependence or dominance, it’s partnership.
One where love and money both feel fair.
Final thought
Love should never cost your independence.
Romance and marriage are wonderful but being able to swipe your own card, on your own terms. That’s power.
Signing out,
Sana
Hi Sana, this is a very deep rooted, sensitive topic and yet… you articulated it beautifully 🌸✨
Times are changing, and women’s perspectives are evolving too! 🌟
Every time i try to reverse engineer a solution to structural marginalization like this my theories collapse in the unequal burden of pregnancy and childcare. It’s easy for me since I don’t want them but i feel i’ve put significant thought into the issue and made no progress.