Who Said Life Is Fair?

We all face challenges, sometimes because of our own mistakes, sometimes because of circumstances completely beyond our control. But let’s be real: as women, we often face a lot more.

Take marriage, for example. A young woman stepping into an arranged marriage may enter with dreams, love, and hope for the future. But what greets her is often very different. Too many women still encounter domestic violence, emotional abuse, or a household where their voice is dismissed. Many feel forced to stay because of family pressure, financial dependence, or fear of society’s judgment. Is that fair? Absolutely not.

And this isn’t only about arranged marriages. Even when we choose our own partners, abuse can creep in quietly like slow poison. It chips away your confidence, your happiness, and your identity. A few years later, you might wake up and realize you’ve lost yourself in the process. That’s a heavy reality.

Loss and grief could strike us anytime. Life also throws unexpected challenges like illness, sometimes chronic and sometimes terminal. These moments test us most when children or loved ones rely on us. It can feel unfair, isolating, and unbearable.

People are born with disabilities or suffer injuries that impact their daily functioning. Not fair!

We all face a lot of challenges at the workplace, especially women of color. Is it fair? Once again, no.

We naively think people will be fair to us if we’re fair to them. Nope. It depends on whom we’re dealing with.

I can go on and on...

As Jordan Peterson said, “Life is suffering.” But the real question is: What do you do about it?

Here’s my take.

Don’t crumble. Don’t wither under the weight of challenges. Instead:

• Develop inner strength. Resilience is a skill you can practice and grow. Build a thick skin not to block out the world, but to withstand its storms.

• Protect yourself. Learn skills both physical and mental that help you stay safe. If you ever find yourself in an abusive situation, don’t think staying shows strength. Leaving often takes far more courage.

• Prioritize your health. Your body carries you through life and don’t neglect it. Move daily. Nourish it with good food. Care for it before it forces you to slow down.

• Surround yourself wisely. The company you keep matters. Spend time with people who encourage you, not those who drain you. Sometimes all it takes is one uplifting conversation to light a spark of hope.

• Master your craft. At work, adopt the mindset: “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” Keep learning, growing, and sharpening your skills. Excellence creates opportunities and financial freedom.

• Teach your children that ‘Life is not fair’. Do not over protect them. We’ve all heard children cry, “It’s not fair, Mom!” when they don’t get something. It’s better to teach them early and show them how to deal with it.

Above all, remember this: life is not supposed to be perfect. Without the lows, we wouldn’t truly appreciate the highs. Real families are not spotless. Real marriages have disagreements. That’s normal.

In the end, struggles aren’t here to destroy you. They’re here to shape you, to refine you, to make you stronger than you were yesterday. So don’t waste time asking “Why me?” Don’t spiral into self-pity or host pity parties with your friends. Instead, pause. Think rationally. Plan your next best step, no matter how small it may seem.

One of my favorite quotes sums it up beautifully:

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” – James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

So choose your thoughts wisely. Choose courage. Choose growth. Build your life on strength, no matter how unfair things may seem.

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Signing out,

Sana