Teach Your Boys to Cook!

Many of us grew up in households where responsibilities were split based on whether you were a boy or a girl. Girls were expected to master housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of siblings. While boys were rarely asked to contribute in the same way. We are so used to gender role stereotypes. The message was clear: a daughter should prepare for her future in her in-laws’ house, while a son’s focus should be his career.

I grew up in a big city in India in a well-educated family, and I was lucky to have parents who encouraged me to pursue higher studies and eventually move to the United States. Still, those ingrained expectations found their way into my upbringing. I often heard: “Learn how to make rotis. Clean the house properly.” These instructions weren’t malicious. They came from love and concern. But they were also part of a cycle that kept reinforcing the idea that certain skills belonged to girls, and others to boys.

Sometimes, I wondered: If this is the case in an educated household, what about families where education and opportunity are more limited? It made me realize how deeply these cultural scripts run.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Learning to cook, clean, and manage a household is not a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s a wonderful skillset to develop early in life. Cooking for yourself and others brings independence, health, and even joy. But here’s my concern: why are these skills being taught almost exclusively to girls?

Why not teach boys to cook? Why not show them that being able to feed themselves is just as important as getting a job or managing money? And while we’re at it, why not teach girls to handle finances, drive confidently, and be self-reliant? These are not “male” or “female” skills. They are life skills. We don't want our sons to be helpless in future when his mother/wife is not around and our daughters to be ignorant and depend on husbands for everything.

The problem is that the gender roles we grew up with get so deeply ingrained that they shape how we later navigate marriage, family, and parenting. We mimic what we saw our parents do. And then popular culture, whether it’s movies, TV shows, or now YouTube shorts, all reconfirms the same stereotypes. So the cycle continues.

The question is: how do we break it? How do we make sure the next generation doesn’t carry the same rigid roles forward?

Here’s where I think we start:

• Model balance at home. When children see both parents share responsibilities, they absorb that as normal.

• Raise independent daughters. Teach them to be financially literate, career-oriented, and capable of caring for themselves.

• Raise capable sons. Teach them how to cook, do laundry, and respect women as true equals.

These gender roles are deeply rooted in many cultures around the world. But as an Indian woman, I feel it strongly because I’ve lived it and I know so many others who have too.

We can’t erase generations of conditioning overnight, but we can start peeling away one layer at a time. Every time we teach a boy to cook, or a girl to take charge of her own finances, we’re detouring from the old script. And little by little, those detours add up to a better, more balanced future where men and women complement each other instead of being confined by outdated roles.

It won’t happen instantly. But it will happen if we start now.

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?

Forward this newsletter. You never know who might need it today.

Drop a comment! Share your thoughts on how these gender roles impacts you. Would you change? How?

Signing out,

Sana