Yes, figuratively and literally.
As women, we carry far more than meets the eye. Not just grocery bags, not just kids on our hips, but invisible weights that press down on our shoulders every single day.
The moment we step into teenage years, the weights begin. The pressure to prove ourselves to our parents, to succeed in our studies, to land the “right” career. The pressure to advance in our career journey or climb the corporate ladder. Then comes the next layer. The weight of marriage, either because everyone expects you to “settle down” at the right age or because, if you choose not to, you feel the need to compensate by being “extra” successful.
If you do marry, yet another set of weights appear. The expectation to have kids quickly, to build the picture-perfect marriage, to show the world that everything is just great. And if children come along, the heaviest load of all is placed on us to raise them “perfectly.” We devote years and decades to their growth, their success, their happiness. And when they stumble (as every child does), what do we do? We blame ourselves. More weight. More heaviness. Why do we do this to ourselves?
The truth is, much of this burden is self-imposed, and some are imposed by society. We push ourselves to maintain spotless homes when guests come over. We stress about losing weight for family weddings or reunions. We want to be seen as “perfect”. The perfect mom! The perfect wife! The perfect daughter! And then, of course, comes the endless trap of social media, curated smiles, filtered vacations, spotless homes, flawless bodies.
But let’s be honest. Real life is not perfect. Real families are messy. Vacations involve cranky kids, tired parents, spilled snacks, and arguments in the car. Homes get cluttered. Spouses disagree. Children have meltdowns. And that’s okay. That’s real life. And that’s where the joy actually lies in the imperfection, in the laughter that comes after the chaos.
So here’s my take: You do you!
As a young adult, focus on building the career you want, not the one that simply looks good to others.
If you choose to marry, do it when you are ready and because you truly want to, not because society hands you a timeline.
Have children only if you feel prepared for the responsibility, not because everyone else is doing it.
And if you are in a marriage, stay in it because it works for you and makes you happy. Not because you’re afraid of what people will say. Leaving an unhealthy or abusive marriage is not failure. It’s pure strength.
Whether it’s a hobby, a career, or anything else, do what genuinely interests you. Life is not a straight line.
At the end of the day, life is short. Too short to carry other people’s expectations like boulders on your back. Too short to chase after social media’s idea of “perfect.” Too short to live for others’ approval.
Don’t let some “perfect” Facebook post make you doubt yourself, and don’t compare yourself with them. Compare yourself with your past self.
And don’t worry about “What will four people say if they know?” I can’t count how many times I have heard this phrase. Honestly, who cares!
So, lift those weights off. One by one. Release the burdens that don’t belong to you. Let go of the chase for perfection. You’ll find that life feels lighter, freer, and a lot more joyful when you stop carrying what was never yours to hold in the first place.
Live your life so that when you look back, there are no regrets. Just peace. Just freedom. Just you, unburdened.
If you can relate to this post, believe me, you are NOT alone. I am with you! I have carried these weights for a long time and am still working on it.
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Signing out,
Sana
True, but most people get carried away by ‘Peer Pressure’ which is very common everywhere. We need to learn to take that right in certain areas but not in all aspects which is insane.
Wow